I confess that I’m hit or miss when it comes to making New Year’s resolutions. Maybe it’s because I rarely take them seriously or it seems to me like they’re almost made to be broken. But I do respect the exercise of self-reflection and I think it’s important to challenge yourself to improve regardless of the time of year.
Depending on your stage in life, as well as other circumstances, you may or may not have the luxury of time to do that. When my kids were in the baby/toddler stages and I was working outside the home, It was enough just to make it through each day and know that everyone had clean clothes to wear the following day. Now that my kids are fairly self-sufficient (and I use that word loosely because they can at least bathe themselves), I have found myself with a smidge of time to think about some of those interests that had previously been shelved and were gathering dust.
A funny thing happened though between the time that I used to dive into whatever pursuit interested me and the place where I am at now. As I considered different options, I found myself questioning my ability or telling myself I didn’t have the time or that it felt beyond my comfort zone. I was killing any dream or interest I had before it could even get some air under it. I finally recognized that my confidence had taken a hit during the past decade. How had that happened? Rather than spinning my wheels contemplating the reasons, I chalked it up to motherhood identity crisis and put my energy towards getting it back. My “goal” for 2013 (and truth be told I had this Eureka moment sometime in April or May) was to push past the comfortable and familiar, take a few more chances and not let self-doubt have the final say. This blog is a perfect example of one of my results. I was terrified the first time I actually published a post. Could I still write, did I have anything to contribute, would anyone actually read it? But it’s been worth the leap of faith. I enjoy it and it’s different from anything else I have been doing. Instead of being my own worst enemy, I decided to give myself a chance to explore. As the new year approaches, I’ll continue to strive for this mind set and work hard to maintain it. This isn’t a one and done type of goal.
So if you’re considering a New Year’s resolution or thinking about trying something new (or old) and you find self-doubt creeping in (and let’s face it, we all grapple with this at one point or another), my wish for you is that you recognize it and get out of your own way. I hope that instead of asking “why?” that you ask yourself “why not?”.
Happy New Year!